Excuses…
Why write a blog about excuses? Because I am the Queen of Excuses. The older I get, the more excuses I make.
It is easier to not do something than to put in the effort to try. I have done some work on why I make excuses. This means that I can physically feel when I am being truthful about why I don’t/won’t/can’t do something. (Most of the time!) I had to do this. I found that excuses were starting to impact my choices, confidence, and my life in a negative way. Excuses were making my world feel small.
There are many reasons that I make excuses. When I reflect, the biggest reason is probably fear. Fear-based answers allow me to opt-out of something that makes me feel uncomfortable or vulnerable.
(I don’t mean making excuses if someone wants to go cliff diving. Flat out, that’s a hard NO! I am confident that I will not enjoy it and have a healthy fear around cliffs. Imminent death doesn’t sound like a good time to me, as it might to others. I can respect that.)
The excuses I’m talking about are:
Not going to a new class because I won’t know what to do. What if my inefficiencies delay or disrupt the class?
Not trying a more challenging move in front of someone, because I might fail. What if I embarrass myself?
Not speaking up when asked to share an idea or answer. What if it’s wrong?
Not volunteering to do an educational presentation. What if it’s boring?
Not being honest about why I won’t do something. What if I’m not liked for my truths?
I have learned to laugh at myself. I have learned that mistakes help me discover. I have learned to embarrass myself and laugh. I have learned that if I don’t accept new challenges, I won’t develop, at any age. I have learned to become impulsive in a healthy way. I have learned to champion myself into “can do’s!!” and let things happen. I have learned that the eustress caused by the excitement of doing something new is healthy for the mind, body and spirit.
So that’s why I wrote an article on excuses. At least this way, when I give an excuse as an answer, I can reflect and be accountable for my choices. I wanted to give you something to think about.
Make sure you know what kind of excuses you are giving. It’s never too late to start changing your perspective, giving yourself a chance, and accepting yourself as the vulnerable human being that you are.
Laugh at yourself. Believe in yourself. Champion yourself. Let go of expectations and predictions.
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